be careful what you wish for

nearly a week ago my journey into menopause officially began, albeit fake and reversible.

the only reason i was able to get the Lupron shot that i had been wanting was because my OB had a dose laying around in her office that a drug rep had left as a sample.  apparently my insurance does not cover this $600 a month treatment that i will need for the next 6-12 months, but my doctor assured me she would try her very hardest to convince my insurance that i need these shots and that they are the only option i have to get  feeling better and to diagnose endometriosis.  she felt that since we started the treatment it may be a bit easier to convince my insurance company that i should be allowed to finish the same treatment. 

i was forewarned that for the first two weeks my pain would dramatically increase and throughout the rest of the months i will have mood swings, hot flashes and night sweats among other side effects.  although i am in a lot of pain on a day to day basis, i am thrilled to report that my pain did not increase during my first week of treatment!!!  i really haven't slept for more than five hour stretches since i got the shot last wednesday.  i am not sure if it is because of the massive amounts of hormones i was injected with or if my lack of sleep is due to my damn mind worrying about the massive amounts of hormones that i was recently injected with.  either way, i am sick of being awake to see the sun rise.  hopefully my normal insomnia (fall asleep around 3am) will kick back in soon, or dare i ask for a normal person non-insomniac sleeping pattern to come my way.  

a week before my OB gave me my first Lupron shot my GP Dr increased my pain medicines (new stronger pill that i can take more than two times a day).  i am not going to lie, i am so happy to actually have pain medicines that work and alleviate my lower abdomen / pelvic pain but.... they are so strong that they actually make me sick if i don't take my anti-nausea pills and have some food in my belly.  i know what you are thinking, wow she can always find something to complain about - right?  anyways - due to the strength of these pills i am not taking as many a day as i am allowed to.  so please do not worry about my 'drug use'.  i promise you that i am doing everything in my power to get to feeling better so that i don't have a need for pain pills at all and i can move on with my life and become the productive, helpful, happy person i know i am destined to be.