so, my 30th birthday is rapidly approaching and i am scared shitless. i am currently unemployed (due to medical bullshit) which i will elaborate later, i live with my rents (due to unemployed status), and i am not sure that my reproductive system even works. not what i thought 30 would look like. i always assumed that by 30 i would have established a career, bought a house, been back to europe at least twice, had a kid or two and was thin. well, none of these things are the case and it is freaking me the f out.
i have never been one to measure my accomplishments by what others have done or think about me, or what kind of car i drive or jeans i wear. my entire life i have always marched to a different drum but what i am starting to realize is that i want what other people have. not all of it, but some of what my friends have. am i ready to give up my vices (the occasional captain and coke and the less occasional cigarettes), my body, my lets fly to the east coast tomorrow because i have a few extra bucks attitude to have a kid - not yet. but boy what i wouldn't do for a home that i call my own and the money to travel as far away and often as i would like to.
i have a lot of life left to live and i need to get feeling better so i can do so.
i guess my point is - i am not as ready for 30 as it appears to be for me.
Hey Melissa! This is Greg... Do I have the privilege of being the first comment on your new Blog? As someone who has recently turned 30, just enjoy it and own it. Do something you always wanted to do in your 20s but never had the guts and/or willpower. Perhaps that's one of the goals you mentioned maybe something else.
ReplyDeleteGreg, you do have the privilege of being the first to comment on my new blog! I love your idea. I have a lot of things i'd like to do, gonna have to think about that one! Hope all is well.
ReplyDeleteI've been noticing a lot lately that people always think that these crazy, drastic things will happen to them, but don't ever think about how - it is very long and arduous process to change anything (vices, kids, careers, and other such things that I thought I'd have at my age, too), but you are in the majority with the sudden "oh shit" realization - work with it, don't let it pull you down!
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ReplyDeleteI for one, think you are handling this all amazingly well. Having gone through the big "M" myself...I can feel your pain. Hot flashes...it's like your body turns on you...they are the pits! Hang in there and keep saying to yourself...it's only temporary..and for a good cause..to cure you,so you can get well and have all those things in life you want so very much!!
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